The Beer Goggler Says: The Execs at the Quaker Oats Company must be thrilled to see Paris Hilton buying a box of Cap’n Crunch. Why? Firstly, it’s late at night. Secondly, she is buying kids’ cereal at a liquor store. Thirdly, she looks like she just finished smoking a big fatty and is suffering severely from the munchies. So, what you have is a drunk, rich, party girl, who has slept with half of Hollywood tainting the wholesomeness of one of the greatest breakfast cereals of all time. Or maybe she just ran out of cereal and needs some breakfast in the morning. Regardless, Paris should leave the Cap’n alone. Go taint Count Chocula or the Toucan Sam. Those guys are finished, plus, plus…

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