The Beer Goggler Says: Madonna’s pipes are a little bit exciting. Not in a sexy kind of way. More in a let’s-go-make-some-money kind of way. Imagine The Beer Goggler and Madonna walking into an Irish pub full of tough Irishman. I know what you’re thinking – tough Irishman???  Just bear with me for a moment. Anyway, imagine us walking into a pub and I announce that I will give anyone who has the balls to arm wrestle five to one odds for any amount of money they’d like to bet. Most of the guys in the pub would take one look at me and then look back down at their drinks because my pipes are the size of the Rock of Gibraltar. I would then loudly announce “Not me, my girlfriend here.” After the howls of laughter subsided some dude who drank one too many coolers (Irishman love coolers) would take me up on my offer. Madonna would then kick his ass in three seconds, we would win a ton of dough and Madonna would take me home and let me have my way with her because I am a mad genius. I also apparently have far too much time on my hands, but mad geniuses often do.  

Have Another Look. Who Knows What You Might Find...

• Madonna In The Pages Of Playboy Magazine (September 1985)