The Beer Goggler Says: The Lovely Long Legged Lozzie was sent to me by the boys over at CandyCrib.com. Lozzie would like to be famous one day. And for one reason or another she seems to be under the impression that I can make that happen. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that some Dude whose name rhymes with The Cheer Noggler told her that I could. I am pretty sure that she is going to have a huge crush on me because she looks like to kind of girl that could like a guy that looks like he’s never kissed a girl before. Judging by my photo I’d say I fit that bill. The funny thing is that I am officially the World’s Greatest Sex Machine. No, really – I am that good. I have been blessed with a gift. It’s almost as though my hips are double jointed. Close your eyes and picture me slowly rocking my double jointed hips back and forth, getting quicker with each thrust. That’s what your girlfriend is thinking of whenever you are making sweet love to her. And, yes, when she kisses you she also pictures my face…

 

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