The Beer Goggler Says: It’s a day of reckoning when most you realize that Miss Mila Kunis made up as a Zombie is hotter than any of your past girlfriends. Sure, it’s a pretty damn big pill to swallow. In fact, it’s almost like gulping down an extra large Jawbreaker. Admitting that you have a problem, however, is the first step. Now that you’ve realized this the road to recovery will be an enlightening one. The first thing you need to do is promise yourself that you will never judge women purely on their looks. Not only will you feel more fulfilled as a gentleman, you’ll find that beautiful women will sense the new you and start paying significantly more attention to you. This will mean that you’ll be spending all of your time talking to hot chicks, which is a step in the right direction. With this said, you can rest assured that you will never score again because no woman likes a pussy. What does this all mean? It means that I will be getting all the chicks going forward because the one thing that I know is that beggars can’t be choosers. Girls, send me an e-mail and I’ll show you the time of your life (translation: dinner at Denny’s, a box of wine, a bouquet of dandelions and one Sex Machine wearing a hockey helmet and Coke Bottle Nerd Glasses)…

 

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