The Beer Goggler Says: Wouldn’t it be great if a hot chick like Petra Nemcova walked up to you at a party wearing a mask, pointed a long and nicely manicured finger at you in the shape of a pretend pistol and whispered “This is a stick up! Take off your pants and show me your goodies!” sweetly in your ear. After I made sure that I wasn’t on Candid Camera I’d grab my pants firmly by the crotch and pull hard in one quick motion tearing them away. If you are wondering why I would be wearing tear away pants like the Chippendale’s dudes do, it’s because you can never be too prepared. In The Beer Goggler’s World the ladies have a tendency to change there minds pretty quickly even when they are hammered so every second counts if I want to close the deal. Tear away pants save quite a bit of time. Anyway, back to my fantasy. Where was I? Ah, forget it. You distracted me and are making me feel self conscious about my Chippendale’s pants. Thanks for ruining a perfectly good fantasy. I was on a role. To pay you back I am going to send you four front row tickets to the Chippendale’s show when it comes to a town near you. I’ll make sure the tickets say that it’s a Star Trek convention. I am sure you’ll mark it on your calendar. You won’t know that you’ve been duped until after the dudes prance on stage and thrust their pelvises in your direction and spray you with ball sweat. And please don’t thank me. You are quite welcome…

 

Have Another Look. Who Knows What You Might Find...

• Good Morning Sweet Miss Petra Nemcova…
• Petra Nemcova Will Turn You Into A Drooling, Quivering St. Bernard…
• Petra Nemcova In The Pages Of D Magazine Italy (April 2009)