The Beer Goggler Says: Summer Glau is that cute girl that you dreamed about asking out in high school but didn’t have the balls to because you thought she would never say yes. So, instead of asking her out and ending up in the back of a movie theatre groping each other, you spent each class sitting behind her, staring at her, and daydreaming about how the day would come when she would be your cute girlfriend and you would be the Big Man On Campus. But that day never came because girls like Miss Summer were always on the cheerleading squad. And, as we all know, the cheerleaders only dated the football players. So instead of you and Summer getting to make out in the back of the theatre you would coincidentally end up sitting in front of Summer and her QB boyfriend in the theatre where you enjoyed listening to the slurping sounds of them making out while pretending that it was actually you making out with her. All of this explains why you squeaked through high school, never kissed a girl and still live with your parents. Now you get to listen to your Dad shagging your Mom, which isn’t quite the same, but with your active imagination it will do just fine…
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