The Beer Goggler Says: Ever since I was a Little Beer Goggler and some dude who my mother told me was my Dad even though he was half black and half Japanese and didn’t speak a word of English took me to NASCAR, I was hooked. And just to be clear I wasn’t hooked on the loud noisy cars ripping around the same oval track wasting fuel. I was hooked on all the country music, halter top wearing, bleached blond haired, beer guzzling chicks that were in loud cars slow men. Even though “Dad” didn’t quite fit in, I was part of the family. And since then I have always had a thing for NASCAR chicks. So imagine the rush of testosterone I felt as soon as I saw the sweet, curvy, ultra-busty Jessica Simpson holding a torque wrench. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Absolutely nothing, my Little Grasshoppers, because Miss Jessica wasn’t in her bikini. If she had thought things out a little more she would have been prancing around the track in a bubble gum pink bikini and stripper heels holding a torque wrench. She could have pointed it at men and imitated the noise of the torque wrench. I don’t know how much she pays her agent, but I say fire him and hire me. She would have earned her way into men’s hearts for eternity, which in our world is a little over a week…
4 responses so far ↓
1 Hottest Flickr Girls - Laura Lee is Today's "How's the View" Girl | // Oct 14, 2008 at 2:43 pm
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2 Anonymous // Oct 27, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Sorry dude, but that ain;t a torque wrench…. get a brain .
3 The Beer Goggler // Oct 27, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Hey Anonymous,
I appreciate the correction. Given your sound grasp of the English language, I would certainly like to hear what this tool is if it isn’t a torque wrench.
The Beer Goggler
4 Anonymous2 // Nov 3, 2008 at 1:39 pm
That’s an impact wrench. Only a gearhead would care but a torque wrench is used for the final tightening and measures exact ft lbs. of pressure. The idea of J. Simpson knowing how to use either is absurd.
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