The Beer Goggler Says: Nevaeh & Taylor Jones probably only play sports for one reason - to hit the showers after the game. I’m not really sure why they need a shower. It looks as though they are going to get pretty sweaty while they work themselves over. If only you could be their hands on referee. But wait a minute, you can by visiting these fine looking ladies in their locker room…

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The Beer Goggler Girl Ruler: This is where The Beer Goggler highlights a beautiful girl as the standard to which other girls can compare themselves. Women tend to check out other women more often than men. They do this to see how they stack up to other . Now, all a girl has to do is compare herself to The Beer Goggler Girl Ruler if she is curious to find out how she compares.

The Ruler: Charlize Theron

Measurement: Face

Result: Girls, there aren’t many chicks hotter than Miss Charlize. With this said, do yourself a favor and never ask your man if you are as pretty as Charlize because one of two things will happen. He will either A) say yes, which is a total lie. You’ll then remind him of how hot Charlize is and whenever he makes sweet love to you he’ll picture her face or B) He’ll say no, which is completely true. You’ll then remind him of how hot Charlize is and whenever he makes sweet love to you he’ll picture her face. In either situation, whenever he is making sweet love to you he will be picturing Charlize Theron’s face, which is as close as he will ever come to actually making sweet love to Chalize herself. This is the greatest gift in the world that you can give him, so keep up the good work. If it helps, you can picture Martin Short’s face when you make sweet love to your man. It is probably a huge step up…

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